Sam Hankins

An open letter to people who write open letters

Dear people who write open letters,

I was scouring the Internet the other day, looking for cat videos and uplifting click bait to brighten my day, and then I saw something I did not like. My discomfort was so strong that I decided to write an open letter to you, writers of open letters, in spite of the fact you will probably never read this.

Found in Translation

4/9/15

Why are people monolingual? Cracking the mystery of those lazy Americans

What do you call someone who speaks two languages?

Bilingual.

What do you call someone who speaks three languages?

Trilingual.

What do you call someone who speaks one language?

American.

Satire: City should investigate organized crime more vigorously

A specter is looming in San Marcos. That specter is one of organized crime.

Organized crime is a serious problem. One might think the term simply refers to burglars who keep planners and have those convenient pencil holders with pockets for everything, but that is not the case. Organized crime is committed by large groups with efficient business models and no scruples. For this reason, city officials must thoroughly investigate organized crime.

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